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35 Pages«<333435
Do you know any jokes?
pindropOffline
#404 Posted: Saturday, July 22, 2017 2:18:15 PM(UTC)
 
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pindrop

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A woman walks by a pet shop that has a caged parrot out on the sidewalk. The parrot says to her "You sure are ugly". She turns and looks at the parrot in anger and walks away in a huff.
 
The next day she walks by the caged parrot and it again says "You sure are ugly" and she gets really angry and goes in to the store and tells the owner what happened and that it better not happen again or he won't like what action she takes against him. He apologizes and tells her it won't happen again.
 
 The next day she again walks by the shop slowly expecting the bird to say the same thing but this time the bird see' s her and says "You know". 
1 user thanked pindrop for this useful post.
AndrewJohn on 7/22/2017(UTC)
dclOffline
#405 Posted: Monday, October 16, 2017 6:34:35 PM(UTC)
 
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dcl

Medals:
Senior: memberCarver modified: Carver mk II, or self-modified ownerBill D modified: audio equipment owner
Music: extensive, varied collection

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Location: The Cesspool of Sin in Western North Carolina

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C-1(BillD) + M-1.0t mk II + Sunfire CRM-2 + SubRosa SRS-210R w/ SRA-2700EQ amp + Yamaha CD-600 changer + U-Turn Orbit TT


1 user thanked dcl for this useful post.
AndrewJohn on 10/17/2017(UTC)
JohnDCOffline
#406 Posted: Wednesday, October 18, 2017 7:49:59 AM(UTC)
 
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Groups: Novice

Joined: 9/20/2017(UTC)
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Location: Cape Cod, MA

Was thanked: 1 time(s) in 1 post(s)

Cadillac and Honda decided to get together and build a luxury, compact SUV. So the "Escalade" engineers, and the "Element" engineers got together and designed a wonderful little SUV! Sales of the new "Excrement" were lackluster, however.
zumbiniOnline
#407 Posted: Saturday, October 21, 2017 11:08:48 AM(UTC)
 
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zumbini

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Senior: Black Pearl device for multiple award; senior memberModerator: -Mentor: Tirelessly shares their knowledge with others
Site Builder: Black Pearl device for multiple award; major contributor to the Carver site! community.Yin Yang: Black Pearl device for multiple award; participated in audio KarmaCee-Bang!: donated to fund CARVER site! hosting
Featured: systemCarver modified: Carver mk II, or self-modified ownerBill D modified: audio equipment owner
DIY: master builderTunesmith: master sleuthMusic: extensive, varied collection
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A young Jewish man walks into the lingerie department and tells the saleslady, "I would like a Jewish bra for my wife, size 34B please."
 
With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, "What kind of bra?"
 
He repeated, "A Jewish bra. She said that you would know what she wanted."
 
"Ah, now I remember," said the saleslady. "We don't get as many requests for them as we used to. Most of our customers lately want the Catholic bra, the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian bra."
 
Confused and a little flustered the man asked, “So, what are the differences?"
 
The saleslady responded, "It's really quite simple. The Catholic bra supports the masses, the Salvation Army bra lifts up the fallen, and the Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright."
 
He mused on that briefly and asked, "what does the Jewish bra do?"
 
“Ah, the Jewish bra" she replied “makes mountains out of molehills.”
Main System:
Carver Gear: C-11 (BillD-modified, w/balanced outs), M-500 (refit by BillD), M-500t(x2) (refit by BillD), M-500t MK2 (Daddyjt), SD/A 490t, TX-11b
Other Electronics: Behringer Super-X Pro CX3400, Behringer Ultragraph FBQ3102, Furman PS-8R-II, Nikko NPS-1, Teac C-3RX, Technics SL-D303
Speakers: Legacy Audio Custom Super Satellites (new drivers and biamp-able XOs 2010), Legacy Audio Custom Subwoofers (new Audax drivers 2012)

Workshop System: Carver MXR-130 Receiver, Carver DTL-50 CDP, Musical Fidelity X-10D, Design Acoustics DA-30 (DA-20LF sub w/2 DA-10 satellites, sub refoamed 2010)

Spare Carver Gear: Carver C-2 (modified by BillD, w/balanced outs), Carver DTL-50, Carver DTL-200MK2, Carver TX-2

Son's System: Carver CT-Seven, DTL-200MK2 and M-1.5t (DIY recap 2011), Hitachi PS-38 (TT), Polk SRS SDA 1.2tl, Klipsch KG2.5, PSB Century Subsonic 2i powered sub

Not In Use or Need Repair: Aphex 124A, Denon DCM-35 (CDC), Teac X10R (RTR), Technics SL-1200MK1 (TT), Yamaha CDX-820 (CDP)

weitrhino wrote:
3 users thanked zumbini for this useful post.
dennismiller55 on 10/21/2017(UTC), Daddyjt on 10/21/2017(UTC), peck555 on 10/23/2017(UTC)
Carlton8000Offline
#408 Posted: Saturday, October 21, 2017 9:18:40 PM(UTC)
 
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Carlton8000

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So my lover asked my why is my organ so small?
I told here I did not know I was playing in a cathedral 
(Stereo Suite) Squeezebox Transporter>AES/EBU>DBX Driverack Venu360>Sunfire Cinema Grand>Carver ALS

(Media Room 5.1) AppleTV4>MeridianHD621>Meridian 568.2MM> Meridian (5) DSP5K 24/96>(2) Rythmik EP15 Subwoofers

(Office) Apple Mac Mini> Meridian 568.1>Carver M400t> Visonik David 5001i+HK Subwoofer

(Dining) AppleTV4> Marantz NR1504>Apogee Columns> Meridian P200z

(GreatRoom) Squeezebox Touch>M2tech Hiface2>Meridian 568.1> Meridian DSP5K 18/48

($leep System) Squeezebox Touch>Behringer Ultra Match Pro>Carver PM100>Solus/Clements DR-ir6 Ribbon Tweeter Reference In Wall Speakers

(Car Audio)(3) Carver M-240 2010 VW CC Dynaudio Build

(4 Sale) - Carver ALS Parts+Sony-SDP-EP-9es+DBX Driverack PA2
4krowOffline
#409 Posted: Sunday, October 22, 2017 3:41:01 PM(UTC)
 
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4krow

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Man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me a shot of whisky... no wait make it ten double shots." Bartender pours the drinks, and the man starts downing them as fast as he can. "Might want to slow down a bit", says the bartender. "No. I need to finish these before the trouble starts."  "What trouble?", asks the bartender. The man replies, "I ain't got no money."
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