Daddyjt 8,606 Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 Unfortunate door handle placement w/ regards to the graphic... 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbskeam 1,725 Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,198 Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 Drink till She's Cute, but stop before the Wedding... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avguytx 226 Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 (you have to say this one fairly fast to someone for them to really think about it and get it) A guy walks into a Psychiatrist office wearing nothing but a pair of shorts made from clear saran wrap. The doctor walks in and says, "Well, I can clearly see your (you're) nuts". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,198 Posted March 8, 2019 Share Posted March 8, 2019 How do you know when it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch? When th big hand touches the little hand... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sk1Bum 9,860 Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 My mother always like having the last word. Particularly when that last word is "BINGO!" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,198 Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 A young Boy was homesick at summer camp and was talking with the camp counselor... The boy stated: "I want my mommy"... The counselor replied: "And so does your dad's brother "... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,198 Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 What's the difference between a Ski Bum and a Pizza? A Pizza can feed a Family of 4... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,198 Posted March 9, 2019 Share Posted March 9, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,198 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 What's the difference between the Color Pink and the Color Purple? The amount of grip... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilDent 1,714 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 On 3/9/2019 at 5:51 AM, randog311 said: What's the difference between a Ski Bum and a Pizza? A Pizza can feed a Family of 4... I heard a version of this as a drummer joke: What's the difference between a drummer and chicken? The chicken can feed a family of 4. How about a couple more drummer jokes for good measure: How do you get a drummer off your porch? Pay for the pizza. What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian_at_HHH 2,609 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 With apologies to @DrummerJuice- this was told to me by a drummer friend: What's the last thing the drummer said before getting fired from the band? "Hey guys, let's try one on my songs." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrummerJuice 1,278 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 How do you piss off a bass player? De-tune one of his strings and don't tell him which one! 4 minutes ago, Brian_at_HHH said: With apologies to @DrummerJuice- this was told to me by a drummer friend: What's the last thing the drummer said before getting fired from the band? "Hey guys, let's try one on my songs." I've literally heard them all... Did you hear the one about the band who locked their keys in the van? I took them 2 hours to get the drummer out! lol (this one is funny because it actually happened to a local band who's drummer drank to much and went for a nap between sets!) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilDent 1,714 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 How about this one: What do you call a guy who likes to hang around musicians? The drummer 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrummerJuice 1,278 Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 (edited) How do you know when a drummer is at the door? The knocking keeps getting faster and slower and they don't know when to come in! How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 11 - One to screw in the light bulb and 10 to say that they could have done a better job! Edited March 12, 2019 by DrummerJuice 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddyjt 8,606 Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 It takes balls to be a trans woman. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sk1Bum 9,860 Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 14 minutes ago, Daddyjt said: It takes balls to be a trans woman. and it takes someone else's balls to be a trans man. There's a Don Rickles joke in there... I'll bet you donated your balls to a trans man, and (s)he gave them back. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddyjt 8,606 Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilDent 1,714 Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 A friend of mine just got a trophy wife....obviously not first place. -Steven Wright Well, my brother says "Hello". So, hooray for speech therapy. -Emo Philips 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilDent 1,714 Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon..." Emo Philips 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarryG 2,846 Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Not a joke but you might find this video amusing! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,198 Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 There are only 10 kinds of people that understand binary - those that do, and those that don't... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,198 Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 A Nurse finds a Rectal Thermometer in Her Pocket and says... "Aww, some Asshole got my Pen again"... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,198 Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 If a Woman says "What?" It's not because She didn't hear you... She's just giving you a chance to change what you said... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danowood 2,167 Posted March 20, 2019 Share Posted March 20, 2019 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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