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Gene C

Do you know any jokes?

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I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me.

 

 

 

BTW, I sharted myself just yesterday during a Cough whilst shopping  at Walmart 🤤

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Some of what I see shopping at Walmart makes me want to do that too.  😲

 

Perhaps I should stay out of the mirror aisle...?  😖

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1 hour ago, randog311 said:

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me.

 

 

 

BTW, I sharted myself just yesterday during a Cough whilst shopping  at Walmart 🤤

You have to be careful what you eat when you are "crop dusting" at Walmart! ;)

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36 minutes ago, DrummerJuice said:

You have to be careful what you eat when you are "crop dusting" at Walmart! ;)

"Crop Dusting",  now you've awakened a memory from 23 years ago.

While roaming the isles of the local 24 hour grocery store late one evening (very few customers around) with my two daughters and wife.

I loudly "Dusted" a vacant isle while my family was a couple isles over...

Followed by both daughters in unison loudly shouting: "Daaaaad" 

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There are 10 types of people in the world...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Those who understand binary, and those who don't!

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Somewhere an elderly Woman reads a book on "How to use the Internet"...

While somewhere a boy is  searching the Internet on " How to read a book".

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4 hours ago, randog311 said:

Somewhere an elderly Woman reads a book on "How to use the Internet"...

While somewhere a boy is  searching the Internet on " How to read a book".

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this one.  😕

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14 hours ago, Brian_at_HHH said:

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this one.  😕

I was telling my daughter about this post yesterday,  She later Texted back regarding something my Grandson said yesterday evening while filling out birthday invitations:

 

I'm tired of filling this out,  I wish I could just "Copy-Paste, Copy-Paste"🤣😂😁😅

 

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On 9/30/2018 at 5:24 PM, DrummerJuice said:

"I see nothing" (Sargent Schulz)

 

 

My Girlfriend left me because she couldn't handle my OCD...

I told her to "close the door five times" on her way out...

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3 hours ago, randog311 said:

 

 

My Girlfriend left me because she couldn't handle my OCD...

I told her to "close the door five times" on her way out...

 

Actually it's CDO if you list them Alphabetically like you're supposed to! ;)

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I'm more into sarcastic insults like.....
 
"Let me guess....You dated your teacher from 9th grade to 12th.....But you were home schooled"......
 
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My Sister was telling me that Her taste in Men is so bad that Her "Walk of Shame" is on Her way to the Date...

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My Wife was complaining last night that I never listen to her or something like that...

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I found the following joke inline,  it must have been written by a "Millennial with a Man Bun"...

 

"It was only when I  bought a Motorbike that I found out that Adrenaline was Brown"

 

Certainly not me, I purchased my 1983 Suzuki GS1100ES new in San Diego,  I have never had any desire to sell it. It is an extension of me...

I'm not happy until unless the Wheel is headed towards the Sky...

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I'm not saying that your Perfume is too strong,  I'm just saying that the Canary was alive before you got here...

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2 hours ago, randog311 said:

Smoking will kill you...Bacon will kill you...But smoking bacon will cure it...

 

But the rolling papers are what you need to watch out for.

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People used to laugh at me when would say... "I want to be a Comedian", Well, nobody's laughing now...

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I told my wife that I would like to have my kids every other weekend,  she reminded me that we're Married and still live together and that I'd have to see them everyday...

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Pavlov walks into a Bar, the phone rings and he say: "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog"...

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My Son asked me what it is like being Married...

I told him to leave me alone...

When he did I asked him why he was ignoring me....

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When wearing a Bikini,  Women expose 90% of their body's...

Men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts...

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I asked my Wife what she wanted for Christmas... She said: " Nothing would make me happier than a Diamond Necklace"...

So I  bought her Nothing...

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