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Gene C

Do you know any jokes?

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Wisdom from Larry the Cable Guy

COWS

 

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

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Husband takes the wife to a Club.

 

There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flips, buying drinks for people, the works.

 

Wife turns to her husband and says.......See that guy,  25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.

 

Husband says....Looks like he's still celebrating!!!

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My kids are now at the age where they are beginning to understand embarrassment...

This is my time to shine... 

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The first Computer dates back to Adam and Eve,  it was an Apple with limited memory,  just one byte. And then everything crashed...

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About a Month before My Uncle passed away,  his Nurse rubbed Lard all over his back.

After that,  He went downhill fast...

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When my Doctor tells me something is normal for my age I feel better, then I think that dying could be considered normal for my age...

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An old lady was standing at the railing of the

cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would

not blow away in the wind.

A gentleman approached her and said,

“Pardon me, madam.

I do not intend to be forward but did you know

that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?”

“Yes, I know,” said the lady. “I need both my

hands to hold onto this hat.”

“But madam, you must know that you are not

wearing any panties and your privates are

exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest.

The woman looked down, then back up at the

man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down

there is 85 years old... I just bought this hat

yesterday!”

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Women Marry because they believe that one day He will change...

Men Marry because they believe that She will never change...

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A BIT OF A PROBLEM????

 

A thief broke into a house in mid-afternoon.

 

He held the woman at knife point and tied her up and said, “Give me all your money and jewels and any other stuff you might have.”

 

The man starts sobbing and says, “Brother take what you want, but please untie her and set her free.”

 

The thief says, “You must really love your wife.”

 

The man says, “No, she’s the neighbor’s wife and my wife will be home in about half an hour.”

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On 11/18/2018 at 3:50 PM, randog311 said:

Women Marry because they believe that one day He will change...

Men Marry because they believe that She will never change...

Too True to be funny! ;)

Edited by DrummerJuice

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