kve777 6,674 Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 I just looked it up. Bill The Wall is dead. Google: william theodore wall He died in 2007. Trump cannot bill the wall. He's dead. Sorry. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 A Woman says to the Dentist: "I don't know which is worse, having a tooth pulled or having a baby "... Dentist: "Well make up your mind, I gotta adjust the chair'... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 (edited) I purchased a box of condoms earlier today, the cashier asked me if I wanted a bag? I said: "Nah, I'll just Turn off the lights"... Edited January 9, 2019 by randog311 Spelling 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 When I told me Doctor about my loss of memory... He had me pay in advance.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 The Future, Present and the Past walked into a Bar.... Things got a little Tense... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 11, 2019 Share Posted January 11, 2019 Turns out my wife is pretty Smart... I told her that our Grandchildren are Spoiled... She said: "They all Smell that way"... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 12, 2019 Share Posted January 12, 2019 Perhaps if we start telling people that 'the Brain is an App"... They will start using it... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 14, 2019 Share Posted January 14, 2019 My Girlfriends Dad asked me what I do... Apparently "Your Daughter" wasn't the answer He was expecting... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Community Admin AndrewJohn 8,167 Posted January 17, 2019 Community Admin Share Posted January 17, 2019 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Community Admin AndrewJohn 8,167 Posted January 17, 2019 Community Admin Share Posted January 17, 2019 To be fair and balanced... The irony here is that the reader assumes they know the gender of the "I" in the first line..., And we really don't know! Now that is fair and balanced! ? LoL 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnaryder 756 Posted January 17, 2019 Share Posted January 17, 2019 There’s a TFM-35 on sale at Reverb for(hold on) $1400. Gotta get me 2 of them ray 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddyjt 8,612 Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 What’s the bulge in a Montana woman’s Pants? A pistol. What’s the bulge in a California woman’s pants? A penis. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockster2U 668 Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 $30 Bet Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. Alexandria looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." Alexandria replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as she placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. She was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money." Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump." Alexandria replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again." Jack took the money. Alexandria went back to work at the US Congress 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddyjt 8,612 Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 Two guys and a woman are stranded on a tropical island. After two weeks, the woman is so ashamed of what she’s been doing, she kills herself. After another two weeks, the guys are so ashamed of what they’ve been doing, they bury her. After another two weeks, they’re so ashamed of what they’ve been doing, they dig her back up. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 2 hours ago, Daddyjt said: Two guys and a woman are stranded on a tropical island. After two weeks, the woman is so ashamed of what she’s been doing, she kills herself. After another two weeks, the guys are so ashamed of what they’ve been doing, they bury her. After another two weeks, they’re so ashamed of what they’ve been doing, they dig her back up. Daddyjt, that's sick and wrong ... I like it? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 What's worse than Ants in your pants??? Uncles.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 "Employee of the Month" is a good example of how someone can be both a Winner and a Looser at the same time... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kve777 6,674 Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 The Worst time to have a Heart Attack is when you are playing the game Charades.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Community Admin AndrewJohn 8,167 Posted January 19, 2019 Community Admin Share Posted January 19, 2019 Had a very weird dream last night. Rod and Hashy were at my house, drinking and working on gear. This was the best place to share that. ? 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Hung Chow calls into work and says: "Hey Boss I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomachache and legs hurt, I no come to work." The Boss says: "You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my Wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that." Two hours later Hung Chow calls in again. "Boss I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 Do you know why Aliens don't visit our Planet? Terrible Ratings... . Only One Star... 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 21, 2019 Share Posted January 21, 2019 https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5228677/Joke-signs-California-sanctuary-state.html 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 22, 2019 Share Posted January 22, 2019 "Political Correctness" has gotten so far out of hand that the PC Police will soon be requiring us to refer to the "Local Drug Dealer" as an "Undocumented Pharmacist"... 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted January 23, 2019 Share Posted January 23, 2019 Politics is the Art of looking for Trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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