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Gene C

Do you know any jokes?

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(you have to say this one fairly fast to someone for them to really think about it and get it)

 

A guy walks into a Psychiatrist office wearing nothing but a pair of shorts made from clear saran wrap. 

 

The doctor walks in and says, "Well, I can clearly see your (you're) nuts".

 

:D

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How do you know when it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When th big hand touches the little hand...

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A young Boy was homesick at summer camp and was talking with the camp counselor...

The boy stated: "I  want my mommy"...

The counselor replied: "And so does your dad's brother "...

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What's the difference between a Ski Bum and a Pizza?

A Pizza can feed a Family of 4...

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What's the difference between the Color Pink and the Color Purple?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The amount of grip...

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On ‎3‎/‎9‎/‎2019 at 5:51 AM, randog311 said:

What's the difference between a Ski Bum and a Pizza?

A Pizza can feed a Family of 4...

 

I heard a version of this as a drummer joke:

What's the difference between a drummer and chicken?

The chicken can feed a family of 4.

 

How about a couple more drummer jokes for good measure:

How do you get a drummer off your porch?

Pay for the pizza.

 

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

Homeless

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With apologies to @DrummerJuice- this was told to me by a drummer friend:

 

What's the last thing the drummer said before getting fired from the band?

 

"Hey guys, let's try one on my songs."

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How do you piss off a bass player?

 

De-tune one of his strings and don't tell him which one! :D

4 minutes ago, Brian_at_HHH said:

With apologies to @DrummerJuice- this was told to me by a drummer friend:

 

What's the last thing the drummer said before getting fired from the band?

 

"Hey guys, let's try one on my songs."

 

I've literally heard them all...

Did you hear the one about the band who locked their keys in the van?

 

I took them 2 hours to get the drummer out! lol

 

(this one is funny because it actually happened to a local band who's drummer drank to much and went for a nap between sets!)

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How about this one:

What do you call a guy who likes to hang around musicians?

The drummer

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Posted (edited)

How do you know when a drummer is at the door?

The knocking keeps getting faster and slower and they don't know when to come in!

 

How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

11 - One to screw in the light bulb and 10 to say that they could have done a better job!

Edited by DrummerJuice
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14 minutes ago, Daddyjt said:

It takes balls to be a trans woman. 

 

and it takes someone else's balls to be a trans man.

 

There's a Don Rickles joke in there...

 

I'll bet you donated your balls to a trans man, and (s)he gave them back.

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A friend of mine just got a trophy wife....obviously not first place.

-Steven Wright

Well, my brother says "Hello". So, hooray for speech therapy.

-Emo Philips
 

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A Mormon told me that they don't drink coffee. I said, "A cup of coffee every day gives you wonderful benefits." He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, it keeps you from being Mormon..."

 

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