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Do you know any Jokes? Cartoons? Funny Memes?


Gene C

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  • 2 weeks later...
23 hours ago, Dav-Em said:
On 7/15/2018 at 10:39 AM, Dav-Em said:

 

 

Thanks for the video. It seems that I owe a bunch of guys over the years a big apology by not letting them 'explain'. Ok then, off to the cemetery I go....

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 11/10/2013 at 9:33 PM, TNRabbit said:

That was great, Gene~

I second that, Gene 

What event finally happened to Pinocchi0 that convinced him that he was made of wood?

 

His hand caught Fire!

 

"I'm a Real Boy"

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Grandpa The Gambler

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney....

The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he ends up urinating all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!"

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A man saw a Lion in the bush and kneeled down and started praying. When he open his eyes he was surprised to see the Lion kneeling down in front of him praying too. What a shock. The man asked the Lion, are you a Christian too? The Lion said no Stupid, don’t you pray before you eat?

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Why an Electronics Engineer shouldn't change careers and become a Surgeon...

 

Now as a Surgeon in the Operating Room:

"Let's shut down all his body functions,  then start them up again"...

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Ya'll probably wondering why my left eye is partially closed. Well what happened was this: Last night as my wife was finishing the dinner dishes, I was standing behind her. 

All I said was, "Would you like to go out, girl?" 

Without even turning around my wife said, "Oh yes, I'd love to....

We had a wonderful evening and later, she thanked me for surprising her with a night out. 


Everything was going along so great until I said that:  "I was actually talking to the dog"...

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Good to see at least a few Menbers here have a sence of Humor ?

I will throw out a Bone occasionally ?

If you like "Dark Conedy", I can reccomend "Very Bad Things" with Cameron Diaz. 

Best to watch with a couple of friends and some Beers???????

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Time for another Randy original JOKE...

Disclaimer: No offense intended towards any Religion...

 

Saddam Hussein had two sons (well documented), Uday & Qusay...

 

JOKE: Did you know that Saddam Hussein had third son (Fiction) from an encounter with a Jewish woman?

 

Oh Vey!

 

IE: Uday, Qusay and OyVey

 

Enjoy...

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