danowood 2,167 Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 25, 2018 Share Posted August 25, 2018 Women can Fake Orgasms... But Men can Fake Whole Relationships... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morris 388 Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 The ratio on an igloo's circumference to it's diameter = Eskimo Pi 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 26, 2018 Share Posted August 26, 2018 What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 What do you call the Soft Tissue between a Shark's Teeth... A slow Swimmer... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danowood 2,167 Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 27, 2018 Share Posted August 27, 2018 Behind every ANGRY Woman, is a Man that has absolutely No Idea what He did wrong... 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 If you're still looking for that one person to change your life.... Take a look in the mirror... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dnspy007 1,475 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 When 3 people have sex it's called a Threesome.... When 2 people have sex it's called a Twosome.... Now I understand why they call you, Handsome 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 Don't let your worries get the best of you... Just remember: Moses started out as a basket case... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sk1Bum 9,878 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 37 minutes ago, randog311 said: Moses started out as a basket case... I remember him, uppity little whippersnapper that didn't know his place... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking.. Than men do thinking... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddyjt 8,606 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 Why is sex like pizza? when it’s hot it’s great... when its cold, it’s still not too bad.... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrummerJuice 1,278 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 22 minutes ago, Daddyjt said: Why is sex like pizza? when it’s hot it’s great... when its cold, it’s still not too bad.... Those who say "there is no such thing as bad Sex or bad Pizza" have never been to prison.... I hear the Pizza is terrible! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 At what age is it appropriate... To tell my dog that he's adopted? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dav-Em 335 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt... there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again." The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" "No, just up to my boobs ... I can splash it on my eyes if I need to!" 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dnspy007 1,475 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 The store owner asks the clerk, What's with that guy over there by the wall.. The clerk says, Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative You idiot..... You can't treat a cough with laxatives Oh yeah...... Look at him, he's afraid to cough... 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 A Woman cut in front of me at the Grocery Store with a box of Tampons, Ice Cream & a bottle of Wine... I wasn't about to mess with Her, She was on a Mission... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sk1Bum 9,878 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 My ex used to have a parrot. I hated that bird, he never gave me any respect, never could get my name right. Every time I came home he called me "Quick, out the window." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 (edited) I asked my Northern Korean friend how it was over there? He said that He couldn't Complain... USA... Respect All Lives... Respect Our Flag... Respect Our Anthem... Edited August 29, 2018 by randog311 Patriotism 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 I grew a Beard expecting it to say: "Distinguished Gentleman"... Instead, turns out it say's: " Senior Discount Please" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 29, 2018 Share Posted August 29, 2018 What did the Clueless Blonde say questioningly when she saw Cheerios for the first time? Clueless: Donut seeds? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dnspy007 1,475 Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 Hi, Fred, this is Richard, next door. I've got a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least I'm telling you in this text and I can't live with myself a minute longer without you knowing about this. The truth is that when you're not around I've been sharing your wife, day and night. In fact, probably much more than you. I haven't been getting it at home recently and I know that that's no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can't live with the guilt and hope you'll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please sugg est a fee for usage and I'll pay you. Regards, Richard NEIGHBOUR'S RESPONSE: Fred, feeling so angered and betrayed, grabbed his gun and shot Richard -- killing him. He went back home and poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Fred then looked at his phone and discovered a second Text message from Richard. SECOND TEXT MESSAGE: Hi, Fred. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out and noticed that the damned Auto-Correct had changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, huh? It'll be the death of us all. Regards, Richard 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 (edited) Ham and Eggs... A Day's Work for a Chicken... A Lifetime Commitment for a Pig... Kinda makes me Hungry for Waffles and Chicken;) Edited August 30, 2018 by randog311 Spelling 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,203 Posted August 30, 2018 Share Posted August 30, 2018 Failure isn't falling down... It's not being able to get back up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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