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Do you know any Jokes? Cartoons? Funny Memes?


Gene C

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13 hours ago, Daddyjt said:

I actually took this photo in downtown SLC last week...

 

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Talk about making extra work for yourself...

 

With all the wrench-turning it took to part out that bike …, you'd think they would have unbolted the bike rack from the pavement...

 

Only 4 nuts, and you have the bike in assembled condition...   Darwin in action?  Perhaps...

 

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Randog - A Jester award means funny. Not obscene, not confrontational, not in blatant conflict with the rules that all of us live by here. Read a few hundred of RodH's posts for great examples.

 

If you think you will garner "crowd support" with this type of behavior you are seriously mistaken.

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1 hour ago, Brian_at_HHH said:

I can't claim this one as original, but it seemed to fit, and be worth posting.

 

In a little over a day, for the first time in my life, I will be seeing 20 20 !

 

My boss made a similar joke a couple of weeks ago when I told him I'm retiring soon.

 

We banter something like this:

 

Boss: "What can I do to help?"

 

Me: "More money"

 

Boss: "Less money"

 

Me: "OK, I'm retiring in 2 weeks. You have my notice."

 

This time, boss answered, "You have to wait until 2021. Everyone knows hindsight is 2020."

 

I really bragged him up for that one. Then I asked him where he stole it from. 

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Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, "Jesús is watching you." He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, "Jesús is watching you." In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, "Was it you who said Jesús is watching me" The parrot replied, "Yes." Relieved, the burglar asked, "What is your name?" The parrot said, "Clarence." The burglar said, "That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot answered, "The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús."

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  • 1 month later...
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Darling,
 
Before you return from  your overseas trip, I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with  the Ford F-150 when I turned into the driveway.  Fortunately, it was not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't  worry too much about me.

 
I was coming home and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the  brake.
 
The garage door is slightly bent but the Ford F-150 fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your Ferrari.  I missed our bikes. 

 

I am really sorry, but I  know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me.  You  know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.

 
I am enclosing a picture for you.
ATT00001.jpg.94cce926e51354575dcd5fa84c7ca151.jpg 
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
 
Your loving  wife. XX 

 
PS-- Your girlfriend phoned.

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Let me lower the bar here with my favorite blonde joke:

 

Blonde standing on the bank of a river sees another blonde standing on the other side.

 

Yells, "HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SIDE?"

 

Other blonde yells back ... "YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE!"

 

(ba dump dump)

 

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