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Do you know any jokes?


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The Tomato Garden An old gentleman lived alone in Kansas City. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard His only son, Vincent, who

THE CHAUFFEUR A young man with walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just absolutely hate drawing welfare. I'd re

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5 minutes ago, oakley104 said:

Too Good !!!

 

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Here's one to add:

 

I learned sympathy by listening to the guy in line behind me at the urinal squirm.

 

 

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No, but there were puddles on the floor. I stepped around them. 

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Digging around in some old document backups, I found this list of Bad Career Choices. I mentioned it a few days (weeks?) ago in another thread.

 

Bad First Career Choices

 

Teddy Kennedy Limosine Service

Dick Cheney Guide Service

Michael Jackson Day Care Center

Rush Limbaugh Pain Management Center

Monica Lewinski Dry Cleaners

Willie Nelson Tax Service

Wesley Snipes Tax Service

Michael Tyson Financial Planning

Bobby Knight Anger Management Center

Halle Berry Driving School

Jesse Jackson Speech Therapy

Madalyn Murray O'Hair School of Divinity

Robert Blake Marriage Counseling

O. J. Simpson Marriage Counseling

Karen Carpenter School of the Culinary Arts

Ike Turner Women's Shelter

George W Bush Mensa Preparation Center

Star Jones Fitness Center

Hillary Clinton Charm School

William Jefferson Clinton Finishing School for Girls

 

 

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So Demi Lovato has come out as "non-binary." Does that make her analog?

 

 

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Hexed is probably correct. Prolly by the Wicked Witch of the West...

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5 minutes ago, oakley104 said:

Do not have any personal experience with this topic, asking for a friend.....

 

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Hell, I put up the fence before I MET the neighbors. Good thing too. One asked if I was building it high enough so that he couldn't see my wife's tits. That didn't end well. He moved soon after that.

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23 minutes ago, 4krow said:

One asked if I was building it high enough so that he couldn't see my wife's tits.


Each year you can lower the height of the fence!

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I've learned an unexpected benefit of having a houseful of black cats is to keep them well away, along with pretty much every other religious group!  😸  And you should see how fast they disappear if they haven't noticed, and I answer the door with one of my little "greeters!"   Heh heh!  I almost enjoy them coming, now.  😆  

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