randog311 7,204 Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me. BTW, I sharted myself just yesterday during a Cough whilst shopping at Walmart ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian_at_HHH 2,609 Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 Some of what I see shopping at Walmart makes me want to do that too. ? Perhaps I should stay out of the mirror aisle...? ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrummerJuice 1,278 Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 1 hour ago, randog311 said: I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants, but he's still making fun of me. BTW, I sharted myself just yesterday during a Cough whilst shopping at Walmart ? You have to be careful what you eat when you are "crop dusting" at Walmart! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted September 30, 2018 Share Posted September 30, 2018 36 minutes ago, DrummerJuice said: You have to be careful what you eat when you are "crop dusting" at Walmart! "Crop Dusting", now you've awakened a memory from 23 years ago. While roaming the isles of the local 24 hour grocery store late one evening (very few customers around) with my two daughters and wife. I loudly "Dusted" a vacant isle while my family was a couple isles over... Followed by both daughters in unison loudly shouting: "Daaaaad" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrummerJuice 1,278 Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 There are 10 types of people in the world... Those who understand binary, and those who don't! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
compwaco 1,129 Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 Somewhere an elderly Woman reads a book on "How to use the Internet"... While somewhere a boy is searching the Internet on " How to read a book". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrummerJuice 1,278 Posted October 1, 2018 Share Posted October 1, 2018 Victoria's Secret is........ Padding! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian_at_HHH 2,609 Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 4 hours ago, randog311 said: Somewhere an elderly Woman reads a book on "How to use the Internet"... While somewhere a boy is searching the Internet on " How to read a book". I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this one. ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 2, 2018 Share Posted October 2, 2018 14 hours ago, Brian_at_HHH said: I don't know whether to laugh or cry at this one. ? I was telling my daughter about this post yesterday, She later Texted back regarding something my Grandson said yesterday evening while filling out birthday invitations: I'm tired of filling this out, I wish I could just "Copy-Paste, Copy-Paste"???? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 On 9/30/2018 at 5:24 PM, DrummerJuice said: "I see nothing" (Sargent Schulz) My Girlfriend left me because she couldn't handle my OCD... I told her to "close the door five times" on her way out... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrummerJuice 1,278 Posted October 4, 2018 Share Posted October 4, 2018 3 hours ago, randog311 said: My Girlfriend left me because she couldn't handle my OCD... I told her to "close the door five times" on her way out... Actually it's CDO if you list them Alphabetically like you're supposed to! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbskeam 1,728 Posted October 6, 2018 Share Posted October 6, 2018 I'm more into sarcastic insults like..... "Let me guess....You dated your teacher from 9th grade to 12th.....But you were home schooled"...... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 7, 2018 Share Posted October 7, 2018 My Sister was telling me that Her taste in Men is so bad that Her "Walk of Shame" is on Her way to the Date... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 7, 2018 Share Posted October 7, 2018 My Wife was complaining last night that I never listen to her or something like that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 8, 2018 Share Posted October 8, 2018 I found the following joke inline, it must have been written by a "Millennial with a Man Bun"... "It was only when I bought a Motorbike that I found out that Adrenaline was Brown" Certainly not me, I purchased my 1983 Suzuki GS1100ES new in San Diego, I have never had any desire to sell it. It is an extension of me... I'm not happy until unless the Wheel is headed towards the Sky... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 9, 2018 Share Posted October 9, 2018 I'm not saying that your Perfume is too strong, I'm just saying that the Canary was alive before you got here... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 Smoking will kill you...Bacon will kill you...But smoking bacon will cure it... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian_at_HHH 2,609 Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 2 hours ago, randog311 said: Smoking will kill you...Bacon will kill you...But smoking bacon will cure it... But the rolling papers are what you need to watch out for. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 People used to laugh at me when would say... "I want to be a Comedian", Well, nobody's laughing now... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 10, 2018 Share Posted October 10, 2018 I told my wife that I would like to have my kids every other weekend, she reminded me that we're Married and still live together and that I'd have to see them everyday... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 Pavlov walks into a Bar, the phone rings and he say: "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog"... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 11, 2018 Share Posted October 11, 2018 My Son asked me what it is like being Married... I told him to leave me alone... When he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 12, 2018 Share Posted October 12, 2018 When wearing a Bikini, Women expose 90% of their body's... Men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randog311 7,204 Posted October 13, 2018 Share Posted October 13, 2018 I asked my Wife what she wanted for Christmas... She said: " Nothing would make me happier than a Diamond Necklace"... So I bought her Nothing... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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