Dilbert's Words of Wisdom
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially love the swooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
4. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
5. Accept that somedays you're the pigeon, and somedays you're the statue.
6. Needing somebody is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
7. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
8. My reality check bounced.
9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
10. I don't suffer from stress - I'm a carrier...
11. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
12. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.