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Posted

"It is the triumph of reason to get on well with those that possess none"   --  Hari Seldon
  • Thank You 1
  • 2 months later...
Posted

It is not fair play to enter into a battle of wits with an unarmed man — my father

Guest kevinahcc20
Posted
Bessie Braddock to Winston Churchill: "Sir...you are drunk!"

Churchill's rejoinder: "And you Madam, are ugly!  But in the morning I shall be sober..."
Posted

"I'm sitting here, completely surrounded by no beer!" Onslow (Keeping Up Appearances)

Posted

"Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs." - Lily Tomlin

Posted
 

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess. - Oscar Wilde
 

He had to be talking about OCCD!

 

 
Guest kevinahcc20
Posted

"Moderation in all things...including sobriety"  (Anon.)

Posted

"Into the mud scum queen" Steve Martin in "The man with 2 brains"

 

Posted
My dad often quoted from this poem and I find myself doing the same to my son on occasion.
 
If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep you head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you.
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,\
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
 
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat these two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
 
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And - which is more - you’ll be a Man, my son!


Posted

It's been a long time since I've read that poem, and I still tear up.  All that's wrong with society today is all in there.  Everybody needs to Man Up

Posted
I didn't get it at the time, but that was the point my dad was trying to instill in me.
 
Hey Bill, aren't you supposed to be in bed, recovering from pneumonia?
 
 
Posted

Just can't lie around in bed.  I'm not overexerting myself, though.

Posted
TIME.... is just one damn thing after another.
  • 4 weeks later...
Posted
"If you push something hard enough, it will fall over." (Fudd's First Law of Opposition)
 
"It goes in, it must come out.." (Teslacle's Deviant to Fudd's Law)

from I Think We're All Bozos On this Bus (Firesign Theatre, 1971)

  • 1 month later...
Posted
Thoughts On Growing Older by Will Rogers

1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

2. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

3. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way.
I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.

4. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

5. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

6. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

7. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

8. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

9. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

10. Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

And, finally ~If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

----Will Rogers

Posted
"It's been a long time since I've read that poem, and I still tear up.  All that's wrong with society today is all in there.  Everybody needs to Man Up"
 
Another of poem of his (Kipling's) also summarizes the "pickle" we find ourselves in today and is probably my favorite:
 






I make my proper prostrations to the Gods of the Market Place.
Peering through reverent fingers I watch them flourish and fall,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings, I notice, outlast them all.

We were living in trees when they met us. They showed us each in turn
That Water would certainly wet us, as Fire would certainly burn:
But we found them lacking in Uplift, Vision and Breadth of Mind,
So we left them to teach the Gorillas while we followed the March of Mankind.

We moved as the Spirit listed. They never altered their pace,
Being neither cloud nor wind-borne like the Gods of the Market Place,
But they always caught up with our progress, and presently word would come
That a tribe had been wiped off its icefield, or the lights had gone out in Rome.

With the Hopes that our World is built on they were utterly out of touch,
They denied that the Moon was Stilton; they denied she was even Dutch;
They denied that Wishes were Horses; they denied that a Pig had Wings;
So we worshipped the Gods of the Market Who promised these beautiful things.

When the Cambrian measures were forming, They promised perpetual peace.
They swore, if we gave them our weapons, that the wars of the tribes would cease.
But when we disarmed They sold us and delivered us bound to our foe,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "Stick to the Devil you know."

On the first Feminian Sandstones we were promised the Fuller Life
(Which started by loving our neighbour and ended by loving his wife)
Till our women had no more children and the men lost reason and faith,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "The Wages of Sin is Death."

In the Carboniferous Epoch we were promised abundance for all,
By robbing selected Peter to pay for collective Paul;
But, though we had plenty of money, there was nothing our money could buy,
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings said: "If you don't work you die."

Then the Gods of the Market tumbled, and their smooth-tongued wizards withdrew
And the hearts of the meanest were humbled and began to believe it was true
That All is not Gold that Glitters, and Two and Two make Four
And the Gods of the Copybook Headings limped up to explain it once more.

As it will be in the future, it was at the birth of Man
There are only four things certain since Social Progress began.
That the Dog returns to his Vomit and the Sow returns to her Mire,
And the burnt Fool's bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the Fire;

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins
When all men are paid for existing and no man must pay for his sins,
As surely as Water will wet us, as surely as Fire will burn,
The Gods of the Copybook Headings with terror and slaughter return!

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